Home is Where the Heart Is . . .

So it hit me while I was chatting with a friend during my class this morning why I feel so lost and out of place right now. It does have to do with loss of love, losing my best friend, and feeling ultimately thrown away (for who I am told is a very unfortunate looking person). But that isn't the whole of the problem, the whole problem is that home is where the heart is, and right now, my heart is with someone who rejected is, who stomped on it, who violated a trust, who doesn't want it. What's worse is I really thought this person was my future. It is all I can do not to call him, not to text him, not to reach out in someway (well I did write him a letter I sent last week, I felt like he needed to know the depths to which I really loved him and the extent of my hurt by his actions). I am so overwhelmed with loneliness, and not for being around people or even good people because I know I have some true friends here, but something else is missing. It is the lack of security in having him a phone call or text away, the lack of connection, other people have told me I can call them, but it is not the same. They aren't him, they do not hold my heart the way he did. Now my heart is displaced, shattered, scarred, and I am so lonely.