And the world just keeps on turnin' . . .

I've been sick since Thursday, I am majorly burned out by my job, and I am not sure where I am going. I vaguely see where I am going but the way there is cloudy. The uncertainty is wearing me down. I am in need of direction.

Cardinal DiNardo . . .

This is Lynette and Hilary in this picture. The stupid Chronicle Photographer cut their heads off.

Just something I wrote . . . just now

Feeling empty all alone
it's raining outside,
maybe its raining in my soul
the air is cold
my spirit dry
keeping everything locked inside
the world is gray
everything feels black.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving all.

Everyone of you, my friends have made an impact on my life, and I am extremely grateful for all of you.

I love you.
Susan

Friends . . .

I was thinking about that cheesy song by Michael W. Smith Friends: "Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them" That is how I feel about all of you from Bayou. In case you couldn't tell for my talk, I love you all, and you are absolutely invaluable in my life. I am so thankful for this weekend. It gave me some much needed perspective. And I totally love the Crazy Farmer. Fr. Dan was awesome. I am glad he spent the weekend with us.

I was thinking . . . I know, scarry.

Friday night after a very long hard day and week, I went to the Matt Maher, Kelly Pease, Joshua Blakesley concert. It's funny how certain people affect you. Just seeing Fr. Drew made me feel like 50 pounds had been lifted from me, and when the concert started, I emptied myself to allow God to fill me, and He did. A sense of peace I cannot explain overcame me. And the concert was from adore ministries, and I started thinking about Adoration as Paul George read paragraphs 2096 and 2097 from the CCC. I thought how odd we Catholics must look in Adoration to those who aren't Catholic. Seriously, from the way it looks from the outside, we bow down and adore bread, not only that, we stick it in this big gold sun thing. But then I thought, what an awesome witness to what the bread is, especially in the case of one of the Steubenville Conferences, when the charismatic gifts are flowing like you couldn't believe. Then they brought Jesus out, and man that was awesome. As soon as I saw the priest, I think it was Fr. Crooker, with the monstrance, that peace I felt before increased like a million times. I felt like I could get through everything I had to do this week, and the worry and anxiety I felt truly was lifted from me. In short, Our God is an Awesome God.

Stressed.

I have too much on my plate
I have bitten off more than I can chew
I am trying to hold 50 gallons of crap in a 10 gallon bucket.
I am going crazy from all this stress.

East to West

East To West - Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Chorus:
Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
from You leaving me this way

I know You’ve washed me white
Turn my darkness into life
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
I’m not holding on to You
But You’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me

I love this song. It seems to really speak to me where I am right now.

Blah, Blah, Blah

I have been totally bored almost this whole weekend, but it isn't like there is something I'd rather be doing. I think it's because I haven't been feeling well all week, and now,

School . . .

Teaching the same students for 3 years is a blessing (and a curse). It's a blessing because the kids know you and you know them. That is also the curse. All the crap these kids do that annoys you, well its the same year after year. I am already sick of some of my students, and it's just the 7th day of school. I keep trying to be positive, but then again, today I am sick, and I just didn't feel like dealing with them. I think I am ready for something else. Maybe even a different subject. I think I would enjoy elementary. Like 3rd or 4th grade. It might be fun, but I think I need to get out of Middle School, along with my first 6th graders (I can't believe they are in 8th grade, where does the time go?). Anyway, I am just frustrated, it seems the more you pray for patience, the more you have to deal with.

A Sense of Accomplishment.

Wow, I have had a productive week. I laminated half the paper in the world, to decorate my classroom, I decorated my classroom, made up new syllabuses, made up fun little sheets to fill out. Made a million copies, cleaned the kitchen (finally), Finished my talk (or mostly), cooked dinner, cleaned the litter box, and seemed to become the cheerleaders favorite teacher (but that is just cause they want to be in my wedding).

I still have a lot to do, lesson plans, making up work, test, etc.

It never ends.

Starting Fresh?

The beginning of the school year is weird. Decorating your classroom again, the same materials, but its all different. OK, well I do have some new to me stuff this year but still. I have my work cut out for me, there are a few things Archbishop DiNardo wants to see in the Schools if he comes to visit, and he has yet to come to Seton. I need to teach the kids about St. Paul, teach them parables, familiarize them with all of Scripture, decorate the halls with religious art, and teach the curriculum. I think I will start the year out with a lesson on St. Paul, and I was thinking about "Scripture Wednesday" where on Wednesdays the kids will study something in Scripture. I am striving to be interesting and creative this year. Maybe partners presenting a chapter. I dunno.

I am also struggling with having time to go to the gym around work, but I know, I have to make myself get my butt outta bed, and go.

Last day of Summer

Where did the time go, and what do I have to show for it?

Today is officially my last day of Summer. I head back to work tomorrow. I don't think it'll take me 4 days to set up my classroom, so I think I will work on my talk and stuff at school, turn up the music and chill.

I am not ready to go back, but I am ready to have something to do.

I am gonna clean the crap outta the house today, I'll see how far I get.

Edit: I got the house mostly straightened up. I really need to clean though, dust, do the floors, etc.