How are you doing?
Simple enough question, but the response, not always so simple. Fr. John asked all of us this at the beginning of his homily this morning, in the light of the week we just experienced.
Personally, I am on the edge between being alright and feeling like everything is back to normal and an almost incapacitating fear. I hear sirens and look in all directions waiting for impending danger, that is usually not where to be found. Loud noises make me jump. But I carry on and do what I need to do.
This week has just been surreal, and this morning during Mass I thought to myself, "Where did I go to Mass last Sunday?" because the last Mass I attended at St. Cecilia's on Sunday seemed to be longer ago than just a week. Fr. John also mentioned that these events made him feel "energized," I totally get that too. Which is probably why my roommate and I were baking on Friday, oh I'm stuck inside? We need cupcakes and banana bread. Fight or flight is a reality, and when you experience that adrenaline rush and are stuck inside, what are you going to do?
It doesn't help that most of the day Friday I was glued to the TV hoping they'd say something other than the 5 pieces of information they had repeated over an over again. Finally, I tore myself away, until the final hour or so, when I watched pretty much holding my breath for fear at the fact these events were only 2 miles away, way too close for comfort, and way to real on my TV screen. When they finally captured him, I exhaled, I mean really exhaled, that was when I realized I wasn't really breathing. Shaken to the core.
Yesterday, it was back to work as normal, but I couldn't bring myself to focus on my school work, so I helped my roommate frost a box, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner (well heated it up), watched some TV, Tangled, and tried to decompress from this the longest week ever.
I intended to get up and go to Mass at 9:30 this morning, so I could get a better start on my day, but when my alarm went off at 7:30 I decided I needed to sleep more.
In some ways it seems like Monday and Friday were a lifetime ago, but then there are reminders that they just occurred. Like this morning at Kenmore, the inbound trains were delayed and then an officer came down with a dog sniffing the trash cans. I really hope that was just preventive but it certainly put me on edge when I was already uneasy about going downtown and getting on a crowded bus or train, I never like crowds, but now I have more reasons to be uncomfortable.
This is a little of how I am doing, coping, as best as I can. One day at a time.
Simple enough question, but the response, not always so simple. Fr. John asked all of us this at the beginning of his homily this morning, in the light of the week we just experienced.
Personally, I am on the edge between being alright and feeling like everything is back to normal and an almost incapacitating fear. I hear sirens and look in all directions waiting for impending danger, that is usually not where to be found. Loud noises make me jump. But I carry on and do what I need to do.
This week has just been surreal, and this morning during Mass I thought to myself, "Where did I go to Mass last Sunday?" because the last Mass I attended at St. Cecilia's on Sunday seemed to be longer ago than just a week. Fr. John also mentioned that these events made him feel "energized," I totally get that too. Which is probably why my roommate and I were baking on Friday, oh I'm stuck inside? We need cupcakes and banana bread. Fight or flight is a reality, and when you experience that adrenaline rush and are stuck inside, what are you going to do?
It doesn't help that most of the day Friday I was glued to the TV hoping they'd say something other than the 5 pieces of information they had repeated over an over again. Finally, I tore myself away, until the final hour or so, when I watched pretty much holding my breath for fear at the fact these events were only 2 miles away, way too close for comfort, and way to real on my TV screen. When they finally captured him, I exhaled, I mean really exhaled, that was when I realized I wasn't really breathing. Shaken to the core.
Yesterday, it was back to work as normal, but I couldn't bring myself to focus on my school work, so I helped my roommate frost a box, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner (well heated it up), watched some TV, Tangled, and tried to decompress from this the longest week ever.
I intended to get up and go to Mass at 9:30 this morning, so I could get a better start on my day, but when my alarm went off at 7:30 I decided I needed to sleep more.
In some ways it seems like Monday and Friday were a lifetime ago, but then there are reminders that they just occurred. Like this morning at Kenmore, the inbound trains were delayed and then an officer came down with a dog sniffing the trash cans. I really hope that was just preventive but it certainly put me on edge when I was already uneasy about going downtown and getting on a crowded bus or train, I never like crowds, but now I have more reasons to be uncomfortable.
This is a little of how I am doing, coping, as best as I can. One day at a time.
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