Day 30 - Ave Verum Corpus

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus is my absolute favorite song.  I have other more temporary favorites, but this has been my favorite for like 11 years now.  So beautiful.  The Ave Verum Corpus, during the middle ages was sung or recited during the Consecration of the Eucharist.  This is Mozart's arrangement of the hymn.

This is why I don't eat Calamari . . .

Fair warning, this is rather graphic.

Day 29 - Lessons Learned

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned


In the past month, I've learned to start opening myself up to the possibilities out there, especially opening myself up to people emotionally.  A willingness to let someone new in, it's going to be a journey, but at least I have started it.  I am also learning to be myself, and fuck what someone else thinks of it.  If I want to act silly I will.  

Day 28 - Who You Are

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Last year, at Poison Girl.

This year, at Howl at the Moon.

I've grown a lot since last year.  I am much more sure of who I am and what I want out of life.  I am also a lot less fragile.  I have a much better perspective on life, and I am not nearly as bitter or cynical as I was.  I am really loving who I am now, and all the possibilities life holds. :)

Day 27 - If You Want Me Too

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge


I am doing this 30 day challenge to feel like I accomplished something, you know set a goal and actually completed it.  Also, I need to get back in the habit of writing, if I am really going to do this grad school thing.  I am pretty out of practice.  


Plus, I want to try and build up my blog readership, I am up to 8 followers now, whoo hoo! I feel like a superstar, ok, not really, but it's 2 more than I have had for a long time, so hey, lets make it 10 by the end of the month, please.  

Day 26 - With a Little Help From My Friends

Day 26- What you think about your friends


Umm, I think they are all assholes, isn't that what everyone thinks of their friends?


Just kidding, I don't feel that way at all.  I love my friends.  I have an awesome support system and plenty of people who I know love me.  


Some of my friends I see a lot, and some I see really rarely, and most of those that I see rarely, can really be counted as my best friends. Cory and Amy come to mind in that category.  I have some new friends who have become good friends, and some old friends that are slipping to the wayside, but I guess that's just life.


I would do just about anything for one of my friends if they asked, and I hope they would do the same.  I know of 4 that would drop everything at the drop of a hat to be with me when I was in desperate need of company and cheer.  I know some awesome people.  I would do the same for them too.  :)


To quote Eddie Vedder: "I'm a lucky man to count on both hands The ones I love... Some folks just have one, Others they got none, aw huh..."


Well, I am not a man, but the point remains the same, and 2 of my best friends are my brother and sister, I know they've got my back. 

Day 25 - Not For You

Day 25- What I would find in your bag


My bag, like my purse?
-Cell phone
-Wallet
-An assortment of lipsticks and glosses,
-My iPod
-Camera
-Cough Drops
-Altoids

Day 24 - Meet the Parents

Day 24- A letter to your parents


Dear Mom and Dad,


Thanks for putting up with me for the past, almost, 30 years.


Love,
Susan

Day 23 - Sugar, We're Going Down

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot


Cupcakes, ok cake, ok, really sweets in general.


I love cupcakes though, perfect cake to frosting ratio.  :)


But I am trying to resist all the cravings for sweets.  Come on will power, do your stuff, or um show up.  

Day 22 - Original

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else


The base answer would be my DNA, but I am sure whoever's out there in the world reading this wants a more substantial answer. 


Really, I don't think I am that different from anyone else, and I always have trouble coming up with stuff to say about myself, so how about this, readers comment on this post and tell me how I'm different.

Day 21 - Happy Face

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

This guy right here makes me happy.  My kitty, Augie.  He's sort of a Momma's boy.  He really only likes me, and only moderately tolerates others, like my mom and brother.

I've loved him since he looked like this:

He was about 3 months old then.  This was not too long after I brought him home.  He'll be 5 in May.  Wow how time flies.

Day 20 - Marry You?

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future


This one is so simple and so complex at the same time.  I know who I don't want to marry.  But I can only describe who I want to marry generally.


I was talking with a friend one night about what I want in my next relationship and jokingly I said "I won't settle for anything less than pure and utter devotion."  A guy standing near by piped up with "Wow, that's hard to come by."  But why should I settle for less?  I deserve to be loved truly, madly, deeply (to quote Savage Garden).  That's how I intend to love my future spouse.


I will say this, I want butterflies.  I want to see him and light up, heart racing, sweaty palms, the works.  I can think of only 2 people that currently inspire that feeling in me.  I have no idea how they feel in return, but I am not worried about that right now.


The person I marry needs to have beliefs that are fundamentally similar to mine, he has to have a sense of humor and be able to handle sarcasm, he needs to be romantic and cater to my whims, but he also needs to realize when I am throwing stuff out there to be told no, I don't want a doormat, but I do want frivolity.  Above all he needs to love God and himself. :)


Ultimately if you make me feel like this you win:



or this:

Day 19 - Say The Name

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them


Angel - my mom's friend Carmen calls me that because I had a shirt that says Angel on it.


Sus- that should be obvious, it's the first part of my name, my family calls me that, mostly my mom


Dear- a couple of gentlemen here and there refer to me as such


Susie Q- Lissa calls me that, pretty sure she's the only one I let do that since I hate being called Susie because Susie was my Gramma's dog when I was born.  "We named the dog Indiana."  Um yeah!


I don't really have a nickname.

Day 18 - Dreaming With My Eyes Open

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have


Plans-
-buy a bike and ride to work
-go get new contacts
-buy some boots


Dreams
-fall in love
-get married
-have a million babies
- get a PhD
-teach some college
-home school my kids
- be a stay at home mom
-inspire people or at least 1 person
-actually get a substantial following for my blog
-be famous for singing


Goals
-get my place organized
-reduce my possessions
-do grad school apps
-get into grad school
-finish grad school

Day 17 - Trading Places

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why


I really wouldn't want to switch lives with anyone. I like me, for the most parts, even with all the ups and downs my life has had in the past few years.  


The reason I wouldn't want to trade places with someone else is that uncertainty of what their life is really like.  I mean how often have I heard people tell me that I have all my stuff together, and blah blah blah, you really know what you're doing.  While I am actually sitting there, confused as shit not sure what my next move should be or what's really going on.  I am rather good at putting on a mask, and only a few people know me well enough to see through it, or rather only a few people seem to pay enough attention to know the difference.


This question reminds me of a story I once heard: A man was struggling with his cross and looking at others who did not seem to have the same struggles he asked God to allow him to have another cross to bear.  So God said OK and lead him to a room full of crosses and told him that he could pick any cross he wanted.  So the man walked into the door, leaned his cross against the wall near the door way and surveyed the crosses in the room.  Some were 20 ft tall, or made of very thick beams, etc.  It was then the man went and picked his cross back up, and carried it out for it was the smallest in the room.


Point is just because someone looks like they have their shit together, it doesn't mean they do, at least I know what my mess it, and I am not jumping into the realm of the unknown.


It's like a Monet, from a distance they look great, but up close, it's a hot mess.


I think that pretty much sums up everyone on this planet.  We may look OK on the outside, but really, we all have a mess in us.


(I edited this because it wasn't really done anyway, and it posted a day early.)

Day 16 - Free to be Me

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

This is me from 1/28/2011, all ready to go live it up at Howl at the Moon for Mat's birthday.  It was a good time.

Day 15 - Obvious Things

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play


"I Might Get Over You" by Kenny Chesney
"She's Got It All" by Kenny Chesney
"She Likes it in the Morning" by Clay Walker
"I Don't Know Anything" by Mad Season
"Do the Evolution" by Pearl Jam
"Wishlist" by Pearl Jam
"Love Remains the Same" by Gavin Rossdale
"Just to See You Smile" by Tim McGraw
"Dyslexic Heart" by Paul Westerberg
"Jeremy" by Pearl Jam


I feel like this is a bad sampling of my music.  Not very inclusive, so here are some more to make up for the repeated artists.


"Rhythm of Love" by Plain White T's
"Life Ain't Always Beautiful" by Gary Allen
"Johnny and June" by Heidi Newfield
"All the Small Things" by Blink 182
"Machinehead" by Bush
"Leave Atlanta" by Pilot Radio
"Another Saturday Night" by Cat Stevens
"Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat
"Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's
"Graduate" by Third Eye Blind


This second set is more like what I typically listen to, especially these past few weeks.  :)

Day 14 - We Are Family!

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Back row l to r: Michelle, Mom (Margie), me, Joshua, Dad (Tom), and Billy
Middle row: Gramma (Gerry), Taylor, and David
Front row: Elizabeth and Robert

I picked this one because the last few times my sister or dad has been in town some one has been absent, usually Taylor.  This picture also has 2 non-family members in it Joshua and Robert (although, Robert is my "Church" mom's grandson, so he's almost family). I like this picture because we are all dressed up, that rarely happens.  I see my mom weekly, David and Gramma sporadically, and the rest of them when they come down from Tennessee or we go up there.  So I haven't seen Taylor in over a year and a half.  When I do see her in May it will have been a full two years.  

Day 13 - Hurt

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently


Can I pass on this?  No? Okay. 


Dear Susan,


Your unwillingness to let go of the past is causing me to vulnerable and unstable in my pursuit of the future.  I understand we have been through a lot in the past 29+ years, and that is to be expected, especially given the events of the past 2 or 3, but hey most of the time we are doing better right?  I know what happened sucked, and that we had no say, and that it disrupted our core values, but it's time to for healing and moving on.  So please try to let go, and stop brining certain people to mind often.  I don't want to think about him.  I don't want to love him anymore.  I am not really asking for that much okay.  So please, act with urgency on this matter.  Our sanity depends on it.  I feel ready to  move on, and you should too.  It's time.


Love ya bunches,
Susan

Day 12 - It's My Blog

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one


I probably found out about blogger through someone else's blog.  I made one because I thought people might be interested in what I had to say, and then I quit writing on it so much.  Then I made a Live Journal that I wrote on a lot, but no one is really on LJ anymore, so I came back here, and decided I wanted a new blog instead of reviving the old one.  But still not so much on people reading it.

Day 11 - Friends in Low Places (or not)

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

This is me, as Hermionie, Angela as Mary Catherine Gallagher, Rebecca as Miss USA 1937, and Mike as I don't know what.  And of course, that is my ex who I am threatening, he was dressed up as Ron Weasley,

Day 10 - I Sing

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad


These change daily, but for today we'll go with the following . . . 




Happy: "That's How You Know" from Enchanted



Sad: "Broken" by LifeHouse





Bored: "Save Me San Francisco" by Train






Mad: "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam (well just about anything off of "Ten" or "Vs.")

Day 9 - I Did It! (hahaha)

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days



 I never feel like I have accomplished much or that I matter much, so things I am proud of, are few and far between.  


But, that being said,  I am rather proud that I have kept of this with challenge, and this past week I have taught myself how to use Publisher, not that it is that hard, but I figured it out on my own. 


Also, on Sunday I hit a low F#, you know, like a tenor note, 3 ledger lines below the treble staff.  It was just during warm up, and it wasn't particularly comfortable, but I had sound down there.  :)  I am a high soprano after all.  Even though I know someone who keeps trying to recruit me to the altos.


I made some yummy chicken the other day, I marinaded it in chili sauce, Worcestershire sauce, cilantro, half a Shiner Bock, and some garlic.  Super yummy.


I feel like I am reaching for stuff here, probably because like I said at the beginning, I never feel like I have done much or that what I have done matters.